The Day The Music Died...

I have had several people tell me, with this wreck, I was very lucky...

Oh, yes, my stars lined up just right Thursday morning...I am sure any psychic (those lecherous insects I hold in such high regard) would have told me what to expect for the day, my luck was that obvious.

I was headed to Park City, Utah by way of the interstate which was, luckily, not quite as plowed as the morning newscast said. As I crested a hill in the right hand lane, I hit a snow pack/ice sheet. Before I had the chance to redirect myself and stop my car from skating around like Johnny Weir, a semi whipped past. A disgusting gruel of ice, snow, and mud coated my windshield. Wipers would have just smeared it like a wet turd, so I was hoping it would slough off quickly. Hope...oh, me and my hoping.

To add to the drama( excuse me, good luck), at the bottom of the hill was a white box van...stopped. Yes, he was stopped on the interstate. At this point, I had a few choices. I could change lanes anyway and be crushed by a closing dump truck or cause him to flip. Or, I could have moved in to the hazard lane, which most certainly would have vaulted me down a ravine. Or, I could have pumped the brakes and hoped (there's that word again) the guy down the hill would get out of the way.

I chose that latter.

I slid 200' feet or so...then, just as the goo began to fall from my windshield...bang!!

My car rocked forward, lifting the rear end into the air, then spun off into the ditch which was only (hahaha...."only") 15' deep at this point.

After I gathered myself, I climbed out of the ditch. I got there in time to see the vehicle I hit, DRIVING OFF!!! Wow! Talk about luck!

The aura of fortune glowed so brightly around me (I guess), no one saw the need to stop and check if I was alright. Who would? A guy staggering on the side of the road with his car in a ditch...this man is sooooo lucky.

A few minutes later, a cop pulled up.

He wouldn't pay much attention to the details of my story until I had given him my DL, Registration, and Insurance information and before he confirmed I wasn't some mass murderer on the loose. Thank my lucky stars!

With his and the world's safety assured, he turned to me. He listened to what I had to say then asked...."Are you sure you didn't hit that pole over there?"

What?! I took in a breath and replied, "Yes, officer, I am rather certain I didn't hit a pole." Hmmm...did I mistake a van for a pole? They do look so similar...

Luckily for me, he agreed.

A little later, as I was sitting in the tow truck filling out paper work...Officer Compassion opened the door and handed me a ticket. Talk about luck!!

It was for following too closely (to a vehicle I still don't think he believes was there) and for not having enough tread on my tires. Ah, yes, the tread on my tires...that's the culprit. It's has nothing to do with the luge up the hill behind us, or truck that splashed me, or even..."the van."

It was clearly the tread on my tires.

I couldn't take it. I said, "Officer, if I had been carrying a two ton anchor in the back of my car and thrown it out at the top of this hill....I still would not have been able to stop in time."

"You have to be prepared for all road conditions." He said, in an oh-so-condescending tone.

Yes, of course...I should have hired a little leprechaun to sit on my hood with a squeegee, because you never know when a truck is going to coat you with mud.

My luck for the day got better, when I found out I hadn't gotten collision on my insurance. And...when my dick boss pulled up. He gave me all of 45 seconds to gather some tools(from the car which I will never see again) and told me he would drop me off at the office, but no further. I was so lucky, he was sure I could find a way home.

Yep, I am pretty lucky.

"Hey, at least you didn't get killed or seriously injured."

Right, right...because this way, when I lose my job I won't be a homeless cripple. And, at least it isn't summer. Who wants to be homeless in summer? It is so hot.

I was sooooo fortunate I wasn't hurt, because the only person who asked the primary car-wreck etiquette question, of whether I was alright before asking what happened, was of all people....the insurance agent. Even if she didn't care, she did a decent job of feigning concern.

If there is an "anti-lottery" and someone wants the winning numbers, I'm sure I can come up with them...because I am such a lucky bastard.