The Phoenix and His Decade of Decadence

There was a time when I was an avid reader.

One of the things I loved most was the sectioning or scoring of great novels. Each "Part"  finished with a semi-climax, but the story wouldn't end. It kept going, building and getting better. I guess, it is meant to be like acts in a play where the lights go dark, the audience is left hanging, and that massive black cloth tumbles to the stage.

Well, my life has had a few of these...but in the coming days...the largest of them all will fall upon me.

And tonight, I had a last supper of sorts. It was a quiet, wordless, meal between two people who knew their course had been run. Why no words? Because there was nothing to say. The tears rimming our eyes were enough. They held ten years worth of memories...some precious to her, others to me...but sacred, private.
(For that one, brief, moment we were almost normal people.)

We had given each other permission to leave and let the other know we would be alright. Funny...she was just as worried about me as I was about her. "It's okay, go." That's what those held back tears said.
All pretense has been pushed away and packing has already started.

This time next month, probably much sooner, over a thousand miles will stand between us. She will have a new life...the best life in world is what I pray for her. It is a devote prayer. I ask for a life of joy and happiness, one of contentment and peace...laughter.


And me...the Phoenix, will have started his cycle again.

...sigh...

Fine. I am taking flight...

But if I am the Phoenix...then that means I will be flying into the Sun and lighting fire, very soon. I can't shy away from any pain if I want to be reborn.

"Fall down seven times, get up eight."
-Japanese Proverb


A decade is a long time...a quarter of my life....how many more of these do I have?


I guess, I'll be finding out soon enough.

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My Internet will be going out soon...very soon. So, this will be the last post I make from my laptop, for awhile. The next time I turn it on, I will be alone and in a new home.
I am not sure which is stranger...the idea being alone or moving so much in my life...I don't even know what "home" really means. I would give a number on how many times I've moved in my life...but no one would believe me.
Oh, well...

Gotta fly!!!