The Inside Scoop

Because of my considerable political influence and heavy Beltway connections, I have been able to acquire a list of a few of the proposals the GOP/Tea Party intend on putting to a vote.

Here is a sample...in no particular order...

H.R. 101 Effective immediately, the minimum wage is to be repealed.

As a means to protect personal privacy, employee compensation will no longer be a concern of the federal government.

Conversely, businesses may now fine employees (up to and including 6 months Indentured Servitude) for any perceived or projected damages.

H.R. 505 English is to be the only language used in America.

Restaurants may not refer to themselves as having another county of origin.

Example: What was previously known as Mexican Restaurants, may acceptably refer to themselves as "South-western dining" or "Alamonium Period cuisine."

**Addition**

On a date(s) to be determined, hunting of illegal Mexican immigrants will be allowed. At this time, it is planed to be an "open" season. However, if the numbers of illegal Mexican immigrants begin to dwindle, a pool or lottery system may need to be set up.

All hunters must stay in their respective state and request verbal permission to hunt in another jurisdiction.

H.R. 704 In an effort to accommodate H.R. 505, Handguns may be legally sold at convenience stores and all retail outlets. The cumbersome and restricting background checks of the past will be done away with. For citizens who cannot afford such necessities, Firearms may, now, be checked out from libraries.

H.R. 911 All persons wishing to purchase, own, or view a Koran, must first register with the "Community Outreach" division of the Department of Homeland Security.

As well, use of the words "Allah," "Mohammad" or "Mecca" are prohibited while inside an airport or within New York City.

H.R. 1031. Halloween will be changed from its current Socialistic form. Children are banned from knocking on a stranger's door and pleading for a hand-out of candy. Instead, they are to request the homeowner sell them a treat at a reasonable price. If no deal can be reached, the child is allowed to offer a trade for other candies they may hold.

H.R. 401 All Science text books, specifically when talking about the origins of life, will be required to contain the first 6 chapters of Genesis.

In conjunction with this, all tests must offer two, at a minimum, acceptable responses to any single question.

Sample question:

What is the best explanation of how plants and animals came to be in their present form?

A. Through a selective process of mutations, adaptations, environmental pressures, and an inherent desire for all living things to reproduce.

OR

B. God did it.

Either answer shall be correct.

So, there you go.

While I cannot divulge my source...I'll give you a hint.

She's "you."

Why Delaware matters...

A blaring alarm and flashing blood-red sign should be seen in the minds of all intellectual people, when they stop to think the Tea Party believes Christine O'Donnell is the best candidate in all of Delaware.

Not only that, they believe she is one of top 100 people in all of America...out of 310 million... who should be making legislative decisions. In the entire country, she ranks in the top 99.999999998%.

Understand what an insult that is, not only to every American, but to humanity.

1. Christine O'Donnell is in favor of "tort reform." Yet...YET...for her "pain and suffering," she sued a former employer for $6.9 million.

How much suffering does a person have to go through to get 7 million bucks? Hey, you know what? Bring on the rich sadists...give it to me, baby!

2. She doesn't believe in life-saving stem cell research.

3. She says she has read "TOP SECRET" information which reports China is plotting to take over the US...forgetting she has never been in a position of security/authority where information like this would have even passed her in an adjoining building.

4. She said scientists have created mice with functioning human brains....how big are the heads on these rats?

5. She is completely clueless as to where the idea of "Separation of Church and State" originates.

Chris Coons and O'Donnell were having a debate at a law school. When Chris Coons recited the 1st Amendment to her, she questioned him saying, "That's in the 1st Amendment?"

The audience laughed...no, more accurately, the audience erupted with laughter.

To cover her obvious ignorance, she said, "Senators are not required to memorize the Constitution."

...No, indeed, they are not. BUT THEY SHOULD HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT IS IN IT!!!

6. Christine O'Donnell believes that all of science is wrong and that the Earth is only 6000 years old. With that in mind, she thinks Creationism should be taught in schools.

I guess she thinks God wanted the Bible to be some sort of Science text book.

7. ...do I need to go on? Because I can...for days.

Here is the thing. Christine O'Donnell is not some aberration. She is a working model of how many (if not most) Tea Party folks see the world. They act from emotion, rather than reason. They believe something is being taken away from them, but cannot articulate specifics or deny the true factual rebuttals. They see conspiratorial minds plotting American demise and fulfilling infinitely elaborate schemes. They believe the government is run by secret societies, then are angered because a younger generation (which could never be informed) exercised its political might last election.

My friends...and family, you are smarter than this. Do not vote out of anger. Stop and think about what it is you actually want.

Think about how Joe Miller and Mike Lee (to name just two of many) want to repeal the 17th Amendment (which calls for the direct election of Senators by the People). They want you to vote them into office, only to make sure you can never have another say.

Rand Paul wants to repeal the Civil Rights Act because it interferes with a business owner's right to discriminate.

Marco Rubio thinks the retirement age should be raised and part of your Social Security money should go to investments on Wall Street...that sounds safe, huh?

Sharon Angle thinks those evil "Mexicans" are coming to America to take jobs...then join gangs. I guess, the latter is to make sure they kill off the rest of the working Whites.

I ask you to ask yourself this...

Is the person I am voting for capable of understanding the ramifications, both now and in the future, of the policies they create? Are the policies they want to make, good for the country, or good for them? Can I overlook the extreme views this person holds?

More simply...can I, with the only vote I get, endorse this person and feel comfortable with the future of America?

Before you answer that...Remember, if the 17th Amendment is repealed, it may be the last shot you ever get.

Those tricky tea-bagging Conservatives..

The Tea Party is said to be based on the "founding principles" of this nation....hmmm...

With that in mind, I've been wondering how the Tea Party has been able to fool so many people.

They have made many believe, that in a desire to protest, there are vast Republican hoards and countless awakening Conservatives. They have made the case,that somehow, the scruffy faced man wearing a Rebel Flag, is far more patriotic than any liberal leaning slug...right?

How has the TP convinced some rather smart and well-spoken individuals (many I think of as friends...even family) that their extreme views are commonly held with others? How, then, are we not on the verge of a pandemic-like ink shortage from all the signs and posters waiting and wanting to be printed?

To understand the Tea Party's methods, we must go back to the "time" from which our tea-bagging friends draw their name. Why?

You see, this has happened before. Tomfoolery is a common American practice.

In 1776, or around that time, General Israel Putnam pulled off a fantastic hoax against the British...maybe the best of all time. He allowed a British soldier to come into Princeton to take the dying testament of a captured comrade. Knowing this soldier was coming from far superior force and would undoubtedly report on Putnam's strength to the British, a plan was hatched. The general only allowed the Red Coat to arrive at night. Candles were lit in every window, so it seemed that the nearly empty town was full. Then, as the dying man dictated his final words, Putnam had his men march by the windows of the home where the two men were meeting. Putnam marched the soldiers in groups of 10, 25, 30, 20....he regrouped the men and did it again in various other numerical configurations. He did this all night, as long as the two were together. Before dawn, Putnam made sure the soldier was escorted out of town.

When the soldier returned to the British camp, he told the commander that Putnam had an army of 4000 men and Princeton should be avoided at all costs...in actuality, Putnam only had 50.

Thus is the scam of the Tea Party. There are far, FAR, more single and small amount donors to DNC than to the RNC or the Tea Party.

However, the Tea Party/RNC has done a "Putnam." They parade groups of people, often the same ones, in front of cameras and in pictures. They give the appearance of a much larger mass of people than there actually is. 50% of the money the Tea Party has gotten, has come from just a handful of businesses. Over $10 million of the $15 million Carl Rove's group has taken in over the past 6 weeks has come from 4 guys...That's about as "grass roots" as my nose hairs.

Glenn "Putnam" Beck said there was almost 2 million people at his march in DC...but the DC police said it was closer to 80,000....does that sound familiar?

Were it not for the fact they are fooling Americans and not the British, I would say General Putnam would be rather proud of all the Conservative tea-bagging going on.

If only I didn't have to eat...

Grocery stores have always been a place I despise going to. The odd yellowish lighting makes the floors look as though some brown slime has just been poorly mopped up.

Picking your choice of chicken is simply horrific. Slick slabs of meat, wrapped in a clear and air-tight plastic skin...yes, that it what I want to see...my chicken swimming in a pink mucusy liquid. If I walked up to some bird on the street and lopped its wing off (not that I would), I am quite sure I would never see something with the color or consistency in which poultry is packaged.

The dusty fruits are all the more scrumptious being as how every person in the city has found the need to poke and push or, in one way or another, molest something I thought sounded good at one time. I wonder how many people picked their nose or scratched their hole and then said, "Hey, how fresh is this tomato? Let me see..."

It's almost as disturbing as being in a restaurant and wondering how many other people used that same fork to eat with....hmmm.

But back to grocery stores...

Heaven forbid you have to pee...I am guessing people savor the idea of holding it all week so they can take one toilet bowl smearing dump during a shopping trip. I always walk in after a person, either shit out a dead cat or Satan himself chose to sit on the throne, because the smell is horrendous. It doesn't matter what store I go in...the smell...dear lord, the smell! What do people eat that creates such terrifying excrement? Coal? Plutonium?

I am quite sure it takes several days off my life each time I use a grocery store's bathroom.

Today, I was blessed with having a child sneeze on my leg. Yep, my knee got pasted with spittle and snot from some little bastard as I waited to reach for my Raisin Bran. It wasn't one of those quiet and polite ha-choo's. It was an all out blast. A snot shooter...the breed that would have sent crap flying across the room and you need to time to recover from. Good thing I was there to stop it or else some old lady might have fallen from the slicked floor.

My body quivered with equal amounts of anger and repulsion.

"Sorry," said the mother, once she felt the heat of my stare.

Really? Sorry? That's all I get? How about I spit in your ear? Or vomit on your child's head? I need to disinfect my leg and you are sorry...whatever.

If I were a Catholic priest, I'd have had the youngster clean it off. Instead, I shook my head and slowly walked to the bathroom...I could already smell what was waiting for me.

Oh, I how I hate grocery stores.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKzYzo0DQEk&feature=related

So, just who is the Nazi in Washington?

Faisal Shahzad is the guy who is tried to blow up a car in Times Square...and Sen. John McCain (the former GOP choice for President) thinks this man should be stripped of his citizenship and put on trial as an enemy combatant.

...and the crowd cheered, waving American flags and singing the National Anthem....

Can we stop and look at the thinking behind this? Can see how evil this idea is, for just a minute or two?

McCain doesn't think this guy should have been read his Miranda rights and shouldn't be brought up on criminal charges, rather be sent to straight away to GITMO.

The problem is....this guy IS an American citizen. This guy, while more than likely guilty...is ONLY a suspect.

The ramifications of doing what McCain wants are enormous....they may, indeed, be the most anti-American actions taken I will have ever seen. But the problem is, McCain isn't the only person saying this.

I ask this, does the nature of an accusation require some sort of extreme measure be taken? Does the fact that a man has merely been charged with a crime mean he has lost his rights as a citizen?

According to John McCain, and several other prominent GOP leaders, the answer is "Yes." There is no need for a trial here because it is so clear this man is guilty. Just lock him up.

But why?

Is it because he is Arab? Is it because he has only been a citizen for a year? It is both? What is the proper length of time and combination of events a person must fit together before they are a true citizen and before their rights are the same as anyone else? 10 years? 20 years? 15 years and 5 of them in the military? Or do they have to be born here in order to secure those rights? Maybe rights should only be given to those who are second or third generation American citizens...because after all, you can't trust those people whose parents were not born in this country, either. Who knows what evil dogmas or generational plots they have pieced together?

The plan goes like this...Grandpa moves to America. Dad lives the life of a normal man. And it is all setting it up for the grandson, oh yes, to blow up buildings....(insert evil laugh and sinister music here).

It's a matter of National Security. We can't let just anyone have rights...that would be insane.

I never heard a single cry for Charles Manson, David Koresh, or even Timothy McVeigh to be stripped of their rights. So, why this man?

If Faisal Shahzad has his citizenship revoked before any sort of trial or conviction, it will be an obscenity. It will be an ugly stain, graffiti, sprayed across the Constitution and the entire world will know all that hold (or say we hold) dear is meaningless.

Assuming a man's guilt and saying he is no longer an American before he has set on foot in a courtroom is Fascist. It is what happened in the Spanish Inquisition, the Salem Witch trials, and it is the type of "justice" Hitler used.

Too big to fail...redux

FOXNEWS made a point to show how not a single company, which has gone through hearings the way Goldman Sachs is, has ever survived...

So, I have a question.

What happens if Goldman Sachs goes bankrupt because of these hearings/indictments? Do they just get bailed out again? Wouldn't it, by the very reasoning behind the initial bailout, require Goldman Sachs to be bailed out once more?

This is one of the handful of companies which CANNOT be allowed to fold, right?

Clearly, as both Presidents Bush and Obama believe, G.S. is too big to fail (and I still am not sure what that actually means).

Does the world fall into some newly formed black hole? Do planes start falling from the sky like large metallic hailstones? Does that wake the anti-Christ?

No...life and the world will go on.

Nothing is too big to fail...not men, not companies, not even countries.

Life doesn't work that way, so why should a person's money? A man can take care of himself, exercise daily, eat all the proper foods and be set to live until he is 120 years old. Then, one day, as he is crossing the street...he is hit by a car. It may have been an accident. There may have been a glare on the window which disrupted the driver's view. The driver could have been drunk or even been trying to get away with a crime...it doesn't matter. All the planning and care the man took to make his life long and full...is meaningless. He ends up dying a few years later as a crippled shell of the person he once planned to be.

People have forgotten that investments, savings, pensions, and even employment are a gamble. They are either betting their money will be safe with some institution or that an institution will be around (and viable) when it comes time to collect. Some are safer than others...but sometimes you get hit by a car.

A man dies, and so in time, must a company...let them.

I have neglected my blog...

Dear Blog,

I have been away from you for a long time and I am sorry. I know you are not a dog or cat or some other animal I must feed, because you are still here. Had you been a creature of that sort you would be quite dead and rather smelly...maybe even carted away by a nasty bird or hungry raccoon. For this, I am glad you are not alive, my loving Blog.

I hope you forgive me, dear Blog, and trust I have not been cheating on you. I have not been out writing on walls or bathroom stalls. I haven't been penning things to paper as a way to avoid you. I don't intend to break up with you...I have just been away.

In the coming days, I will be sure to get back with you. I have many things to share and I know you will be always ready to publish them as faithfully as ever.

I will dream of you tonight, my Blog...and blog myself to sleep.

I know why I threw up, the Saints are in the Super Bowl.

Ahhh...isn't that sweet...the Saints are heading to the Super Bowl....

Let's wipe away the cyber tears and slow down, not stop or get off...just slow down, the Saints bandwagon for a few minutes. Let's reign in them horses....

If I lost a drop of blood for every time I heard someone say, "Well, the city of New Orleans deserves it," or anything close to it, I would be a typing raisin.

New Orleans deserves it?
Why?
Because of Katrina? If it is for another reason, like...I don't know...they were a hell of a team this year or won the NFC Championship game, then maybe I would agree. But no...that isn't the reason offered...it so often has to do with Katrina.

How does Katrina have anything at all to do with football? Did the Saints save thousands of lives with floating islands made of footballs? Did the team drop everything and swim off to help the poor folks make it out? Did some fat-ass lineman empty his fridge and have the contents air-dropped for the people without food?

If N.O. deserves to go to Super Bowl because of Katrina...don't the NY teams deserve something for 9-11? What did Seattle deserve for Mt St. Helen's? What about the Indonesian soccer team...shouldn't they deserve to win the World Cup for next thousand years or so? What about Haiti? What do they get? Should they be in the Pan-American World Series for the next decade, at least?
What about SLC? We have loads and loads of mormons. What do the rest of us get for having to deal with that?!
Oklahoma City has pretty bad ice storms...should the Thunder be in the Conference Finals for a couple of years or just a good showing in the playoffs? Did the Lakers win the NBA Championship last year because of all the wildfires?

But, if that's how it works...then the reverse should apply...
If a team wins titles and nothing bad has happened to the city, we can say with a straight face, "Well, the 49'ers won all those titles. They deserved that quake."

You see how silly this can get?

How about we leave football, the game, as football...the game. Let's not make it into some sort of reward system for a natural disaster.


With that said...Colts 34-Saints 20

The tears in my father's eyes...

Eight hours after we had gotten the horrible news...

My father was looking at a picture of his family. It had him, his two brothers, two sisters, and both his parents...over half of them gone. If a similar photo were to be taken today...there would be more empty space than people filling it.
He didn't notice I was watching him.

He didn't see my tear edging out, mirroring the one which had just fallen from him.
He didn't know that his private moment of pain was something I will remember for the rest of my life.
I have no idea what he was thinking and it seemed almost obscene to even ask or interfere with his thoughts. He was opening some oh-so private mental scrap book and flipping through its pages. He was reliving things which, even with his gift for story-telling, would only be stories to me and my brothers...to him, they were life.


My uncle Tim's death came as suddenly as anything can. Days after the passing of my grandmother, but before her funeral...he died.
Two funerals had to be planned in different states.

I could see a pain, an ache, in my father I had never seen before. It was a hurt so brutish, a lifetime of tears would only scratch the surface. It made me wonder how the last surviving person of a family line must feel...how alone. Tim Newberry was like an older brother to me, but he really was a brother to my father...I cannot begin to comprehend the true sorrow.

As the days go by, things will get easier for my dad. Time can do many things, but contrary to what most people say, it does not heal pain. If someone loses an arm, after years of work, they can manage to do most tasks effectively enough...but, they are still missing an arm. It is the same with death.
It may take months or years, but people learn to live. However, the loved-one is gone. There is no coming back, no prosthetic, which will replace the lost person...they are nothing more than a collection of images stored in a mental scrap book.

In his dueling hours of grief, my brothers and I stood at the side of our father and greeted it as an honor.

It is my hope...no...it is my prayer, that we did some good.

He is flying home, even as I write. I pray he can recover from this. I pray he will be able to relax and get some rest. I pray he can find some reason to smile, laugh. I pray...there will be no more tears in my father's eyes.